Concept Blog

this is just, like, weird. cuz im mostly fine in the morning and in the daytime. then night comes and i just get so scared and i cant sleep. the only time i can sorta sleep at all is when anyone in my family is near, anyone i noe i can talk to if im scared and still awake. i cant even go to sleepovers anymore without panicking. i feel this hopelessness and unsafe, like im all alone. i used to be like, really happy all the time, even when everythign seems wrong. i felt like i could depend on myself back then and all calm and cool. now i can barely sleep and go to school without completely breaking down. nothing specials happened to me, like car accident or anything. i’ve been to a pychologist, but she doesnt really help. im only 12 and right now i hate crying and panicking and that helplessness i feel. plz help me!!!!!!!
by special things i mean like, disasters
and my life is almost perfectly fine, i mean, except for this
another thought, my dad is almost always away for work, and my mom is usually out at night cuz of business. im usually at home alone with our housekeeper or my uncle. does that affect anything?

By: think again

I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was teenager, but then my therapist claimed it as a ‘misdiagnosise’ . Things were fine with no meds for about 3 years but this year I went to my doctor and told her my symptoms. She said it was depression. I have been on Zoloft for about six months and some days it helps, but other days it doesn’t do anything at all. Anyway, here are my symptoms. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, feeling like I am a horrible person, blowing up(fits of anger), no interest in ANYTHING, distant from my family, including my husband and son, constantly sleepy, feeling like the world is against me, guilty (for anything, like not doing something my son wants to) and just overall crappy. I don’t want to commict suicide, and I don’t have ‘highs’ associated with bipolar. I just need to know what it is so that I can get the appropriate treatment. I will be going back to my doctors on Monday, but I would like some consolation before then.

By: Jessica G

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/here4you
What is it like for a child to grow up in a violent home?

Chaos: The children may never know what to expect at home. Their
parents’ mood can change instantly from loving to enraged.

Fear and tension: The daily anger and violence create a living
nightmare for the children. They may grow up being afraid of
everything and trusting no one.

Danger: Often, the children are the intended victim of one or both
parents. Other times, they get caught in the middle and are hurt or
killed by accident.

Confusion: The children often receive mixed messages. For example:
at school they learn hitting is wrong, at home they learn that
hitting is used to “solve” problems.

Isolation: Often, an abusive parent shuts off the family from the
outside world. And the children may withdraw from their peers and
other adults too.

Hopelessness: The children often blame themselves for the violence
but they feel powerless to prevent, stop or escape from it.

Love/Hate Relationship: They may feel protective of an abused
parent. But they may also resent him or her for not stopping the
abuse. Sometimes the children may feel close to the abuser.
Other times, they may hope he or she goes away or dies. They may
feel guilty for not being able to rescue the family or for loving
someone who is abusive.

By: confused j

For all those daily yahoo answerers, i am 23 i am sure you ahve heard my story before, back in April, my ex of four years and my 3 year old son’s mother took off and move out to be with some japanese breakdancer. The whole situation hurts me and distraught me till this very day. I had asked her to marry me when my son was conceived and she said no because of some “single parent”check b.s. First she cheated and left, took my son from me and his birth home, items and possessions. Then, the car that we both shared, she thieved it also, the reason was that i let her put the insurance and the title on her name because she was older and it was cheaper and now i am paying ofr the price of it. Easily, she replaced another father for my son. As of right now, things are not as well, she filed for support and they assigned a 30 percent of my paycheck and it is really killing me right now considering i am still a college student. Things are still very painful but i am trying the best way to survive. we are going through a custody battle, but the chances of me winning are very slim. She has turned hostile and vindictive, she threatend my parents and said that she does not survive here in nyc, she will take the child back to tennessee where she comes from. What else can i do to protect myself? Protect my money? Stop letting this selfish, narcissitc “WOMAN” take advantage and step on me and hurting me. She has stripped all my dignity and respect away. How can someone do this and sleep soundly? I am furious at this whole stiuation and it seems as though, my mind is set up for defending myself with every dignity that i have left with, i’ve still haven’t the capabilities and resources to do so.I am tired and exhausted and my heart is filled with bitterness and hopelessness. I am really dissappointed at this whole thing, and i just can’t believe that this is what i get for my hardwork, loyalty, dedication and love I am so ashamed at myself that i have trusted this person and was my significant other at some point, i must’ve been stupid, should’ve saw the signs from day 1 and think hard. Someone just help with a few words please!!!!!!

By: c c

p.s i havnt spell checked yet! i am also 14

The seas of rain plunged down from the dark sky, making thuds on the taxi window. Chloe starred out and let off a loud sigh, on that says are we there yet? The sixteen year old gasped as her eyes layed on a all too familiars sign. ‘Blue side.’
shock. Unprepared for re-entering the territory of her youth and facing the memories that might evoke. A sickly churning started in Chloe’s stomach, then suddenly for the first time in 8 years,the dark outline of what had been her home for such a long time loomed into view. As she stepped out of the taxi and heard the cruch of the frosted grass beneath her feet. She held her breathe and forced herself to look at it. The tears scorched the back of her eyes as she drank everything in. It looked just as it did in her sweat-soaked nightmares. The dull grey eyes of the concrete statue gazed sadly back at her, his voice whispering ‘welcome home’ in the softly stirring breeze. Stepping shakily and Peering round the corner her heart gave a painful lurch as her eyes rested on her old room-The place where she had experience the few happy; and many sad parts of her childhood. Chloe blinked rapidly holding her stringing tears at bay and determinedly trying to remove the clammy hand of dread that was gripping her by the throat. Night after night, Chloe was haunted by distorted visions of everything that she had experiences throughout her life. they were all twisted together in a macabre plot line of her own minds making, and always ending the same way- Chloe’s disappointing breathe a raging sea of blood as the culprit stood by watching and laughing, with one evil desire:to destroy her. Chloe could hear her breathe rasping shallowly in her chest, as the dark shadow of her past blanketed over her like a cold dead hand. Then suddenly her mind was filled with reflection

Panic. Running round like a lost puppy Chloe struggled to find a better hiding place than behind the torn, old, damp settee. As nothing more than a terrified 8 year old girl this was the best she could come up with. A throb of fear burst to life in her throat as her tired and welled up eyes followed the evil shadow getting closer, closer and closer. She smelled the anger emerging from the monster and jumped at every thudding step she heard. The shadow took solid form. She unsurprisingly saw her drunken mother stumbling in the door way. “CHLOE” her mother screeched. “ha ha” her mum cackled. This sent shivers down Chloe’s spine. “You actually think i am that stupid you silly cow” she continued. Chloe peered from behind the settee, she felt sick. Trapped. Turning to run, she screamed when her mothers hand shot out and grabbed her skinny leg “No mammy no” Chloe squealed- this made no difference. Julie gripped Chloe’s hair and dragged her as if she was a rag doll.This causing Chloe to releasing a shocking yelp of terror, she stared up in fear at her mums livid face and her crazy eyes that were shaking in the dim lite through her strands of rats tales. Julie’s mouth was drawn so tight it looked like the knot at the end of a balloon. Chloe felt the room closing in on her as her mothers hand flew towards her and sent her plunging to the floor.

After several hits Chloe lifted her batted face with a struggle thinking it was all over. She was wrong. Feeling a deathly blow to the back of her head, she through her hand up and wasn’t surprised to feel a warm wetness. Bringing her hand around her face, she stared at her crimson-stained fingers. Chloe sat in silence watching the scowling which leave the room and hearing her sarcastic voice call to her”And this is how you treat a mum you love Chloe is it? IS IT?” Chloe bit back the cutting report that sprang to the tip of her tongue. Tears of sorrow at this rejection and unfair justice streamed down her face. Folding her arms and crossing her legs - a tight simultaneous action that displayed how tautly her nerves were stretched, Chloe sat and continued to sob.
Julie wasn’t in a lot, although it seemed to Chloe as if she never left. With a sinking heart she stared around the place she never would call home, and who would blame her? A home is somewhere you feel safe, somewhere to relax, and somewhere where you sit around the table with your family and talk about your day. Chloe had none of this. As she gazed with hopelessness at the slum she could feel her mothers presence in her absence- she could never escape. Chloe could smell the overpowering cent of alcohol drift into her nose at every worthless breath she drew, she could feel the excruciating pain of her wounds and in her head she could hear her mother screaming louder, louder and louder. She stood up with a look of hurt swiped across her face, walking steadily towards the mirror in a hope that this time she wouldn’t see her mothers face starring back smirking. She hated it. The more she looked at herself the more she looked like her. In a eruption of anger Chloe ran for

By: H C

When I look into these eyes
I find things no one else ever catches a glimpse at
I see this fear of judgment
that makes her cower at confrontation
I see this hopelessness for the future
that make her choices her burden alone
I see this desperate need for companionship to make her strong in the savage world of humans
I see this courage
caged in her thoughts of inferiority
I see these thoughts of abandonment
that make her cling to anything
I see this devotion to her beliefs
that makes her fear death
And I hate that the person I always see is me.

what kind of poetry scheme would this be called?

By: Saders

**This is my best friend, and i was good friends with this guy
that she was talking about. their like stuck on each other.**

MY FRIENDS STORY::
ive been off and on with this guy for four years. During these past four years, i’ve fallen head over heels for him and poured my heart and soul into it but, honestly, its been the longest four years. He’s bipolar, wrestled with alcoholism and even abused perscription drugs, and snorted. In the beginning, he was my everything, a gentleman, and i was entranced. Those early months are a blur. Its been replaced with phone calls, for countless hours, with a voice of hopelessness doped up or drunk or high. He said he’d take his life, at least, eight times. He tried o’ding on vikidens perks etc. Tears, tears are all i have and i’m numb-been very numb. He used to smile and laugh, now he screams and yells-we fight about anything, everything. I’m the wrong one, the source of his depression, his drinking well, according to him. Yet, i sit and wait for the boy i’d fallen in love with. He’s always getting with other girls but, if i say anything about it-i’m wrong. If a boy looks my way, he immediately goes “bodygaurd” and they don’t have a chance…this is a mess

By: yummiimuffin

Here is my take on things. It was written by someone else, but I totally agree with it! It is rather lengthy, but interesting!

It had everything to do with a war on Americans, by
> corporate fascists.
>
> _____
> The problem is that of course, Kucinich never had a chance. Kucinich,
> like Howard Dean, will bite the dust. It is pre-ordained because this
> is how the corporate fascists work things. Of course no one can prove
> overt manipulation, so the subtle suggestion of who is in charge
> remains in the air. And if anyone should ever make such an allegation
> they could easily be labeled an extremist and efficiently taken down.
> That is how power mongers get their tiny little rocks off. Any time
> you get a people’s candidate, they quash him efficiently and covertly.
> After that it’s just a simple matter of herding the cattle to
> whichever candidates suits their needs. Edwards, Hillary, Obama.these
> are all candidates who are more reasonable to the republicrat whores
> and their corporate fascists. And we already know where these
> candidates stand. They have been complicit with Bush all along, and
> so they will keep business as usual. The Patriot Act will remain in
> tact, and will probably be re-enforced even more. The torture camps
> will stay open, and we will remain in Iraq, with the prospect of
> escalating matters even further by an invasion of Iran. The military
> industrial complex will continue running at maximum capacity, and the
> corporate pigs will continue feeding at the trough, basking in their
> $60,000 shower curtains. The outsourcing and relocating of any and
> all paying American jobs to China will continue, until all that is
> left is poverty and hopelessness. This of course, is why we needed
> the Patriot Act in the first place. It had nothing to do with a war
> on terror. It had everything to do with a war on Americans, by
> corporate fascists. No.There is no longer a need to make these silly
> pretenses at Democracy. They can tighten the noose as much as they
> want. It’s only a matter of time before Americans fill the prison camps.
>
> Lets just take a walk down memory lane and look at how we are played
> like fools. One of the things that I find interesting is the
> willingness of people during the 2004 election between Bush and Kerry
> to complain of election rigging by the Bush administration, and there
> certainly was election rigging. The thing is though, what seems to go
> totally unnoticed is that right up the primaries, Howard Dean was not
> just leading, He was leading by leaps and bounds. Then surprisingly,
> he couldn’t win anything. He gets knocked out of the race, and the
> Democratic nomination goes to Kerry. Hmmm.nothing suspicious about
> that! Also strange, is that right up until the end Kerry doesn’t even
> put up a fight in his campaign against Bush. He just sits there and
> does nothing the entire time while the Republicans rip him apart.
> Then Kerry, who promised that every vote would be counted, in a
> disputed election, quickly concedes and bows out. Hmmm.nothing
> suspicious about that!!! Doesn’t take Perry Mason to figure out that
> Kerry never had any intention of winning. Then we come to the
> mid-terms in 2006. By this time voters have had it with Bush and the
> Republican corruption in congress. Unexpectedly they turn out in
> droves and unseat Republicans in both the House, and Senate. Better
> look out now George Bush. We got a Democrat congress, and a champion
> liberal woman Speaker of the House, and your rich white a$$ is gonna
> get impeached. LOL…Look again.the hand is quicker than the eye. No
> “us against them”, just republicrats against you the people. No
> impeachment for you America, this game is about money and power. That
> will teach you to express your voter rage. You had better just settle
> down you rowdy voters, because this country is run by money and not
> your silly ideals of democracy and a free country. I guess the joke
> is on us. Personally, I really believe that Bush and Cheney are doing
> Nancy Pelosi. I think they have hot tub parties at the white house
> and laugh about all this.As do the rest of the Republicrats. But what
> I just can’t understand is why anyone would be so naive as to believe
> with Edwards, Obama, or Hillary in office, its going to be anything
> but business as usual. I’d sooner vote for my dog than anyone of them.
>
Me too! I agree with much of what you said, but you seem to be accusing me of favoring republicans, which I most certainly do not. The person who wrote the article is angry that the democratic Congress seemed to simply go along with the Bushco corruption like they thought it was perfectly okay…and I agree with him. I do agree that the Republican are more corrupt than the Democrats, but only by degree. Both parties are corrupt all of the major candidates are also corrupt, and will only bring us more of the same. I am sad that Dennnis has dropped out, but I do understand. He needs to try to make sure that he doesn’t loose the seat he currently has, so that he can continue to stand up for the people, and for what is right. We need more people like him in every branch of our government. He gave me hope that it is still possible to have politicians who have real integrity. He would have made a great president!!!

By: LadyZania

I don’t mean to sound cheesy. But I can’t begin to describe the emptiness, fear of loneliness, regrets, hatred, hopelessness that I am feeling right now. All these feelings are genuine with no exaggeration.
How can I get over an obviously unhealthy relationship?! I now feel I can never find a man who loves me anymore. The fear of loneliness, worthless, hopeless is so overwhelming. Just simply don’t know what to do, (*not going to kill myself though)
I am just very frustrated.

By: simplylovely

ok well im a 16 year old girl,to any one who doesant know me my life would seem pretty good,i have frineds,good grades,etc. but i think theres something wrong,i was molested a year ago and my mom is going into debt from excessive gambling,even befor that stuff happened i still felt like this…some symptoms i have are=
.general dislike of people,non social
.deep sadness
.rapid mood changes
.perverted,horrible thoughts
.i wont let scars heal
.insomnia
.fluctuating appitite
.i tlk to myself and i have twitches alot like i blink ALOT
.suicidal thoughts
.mad easily
.hopelessness
.extreame paranoa-i look behind me every 10 sec. and i cant be alone for to long or i freak out
.high self esteem then low then back again
.Hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection
.Self-imposed social isolation
.Extreme shyness in social situations, though feels a strong desire for close relationships
.i like physical pain

By: lets watch the world burn